I love my family. There isn’t much I wouldn’t go through for them. I’ve definitely learned that over the last year. In simple and in complex terms. A simple thing is the difficulty of returning to carpentry after the injury to my left hand…while still having only 60% mobility in my 2 most important fingers. The needs of my family supercede the discomfort and relearning process I am going through on a daily basis. If I had to blame one emotion, feeling, belief that motivates that I would have to blame love.
But I say I love other things too. I love the winter. I love the woods. I love silence and very loud music. I love playing soccer. But somehow, when in close comparison, this last list rings hollow. I wouldn’t give up, suffer, or exert for that list like I would for my family. So why do I use the word love then? I don’t know. Why haven’t we come up with a word that means we really, really like something but not quite love? Or maybe we have but just don’t use it when we really should.
You see, it is dangerous to use the wrong words. Out of all the people that speak in this world I sometimes think we believe nobody as strongly as we do ourselves. So when we say we love our job, even though we don’t mean in the same way that we love our spouses or our children or possibly our God, we start believing that we really do love our job…or soccer….or our favorite chair…or the world.
We are very convincing speakers when we are the audience as well. Very rarely do we judge the words and delivery as they should be judged. We are full of agreement and praise….worshippers at our own throne.
So since we are so used to using the word love to describe our relationship to things we don’t really love we swing the pendulum the other way….misuse breeds misuse. We start saying we love things, things we really should love….things like the poor, world peace (please don’t laugh, I’m serious), our neighborhood, hurting people….but in truth we don’t love them at all.
The only benefit to us is…because we are such suckers for our own propaganda…we actually believe that we do love those things….but absolutely nothing else in our lives gives evidence that we do. I mean, we love the poor? Honestly answer, when was the last time we gave to the poor? When was the last time we rented a video? The truth is we “go through” things for the people and the things we love. We suffer for them. We sacrifice for them. Just like when we really want to see that new movie…even if we are tired we will drag ourselves to the video store to get it.
I’m not aiming for a guilt trip here…I can try to prove it.
I am writing to me….’cuz (like I said above) we tend to listen to ourselves. I was sitting at my desk and as I sat I watched my neighbors going for a walk. It was a nice scene. I thought to myself…”I love my neighborhood.” But here I am …. sitting at my desk…writing…having nothing to do with my neighborhood.
Do I love my neighborhood? Maybe I don’t but just say I do so that I can trick myself into believing it is true and that will make me feel really good about myself. Maybe I do but am afraid to show it….
…but you will have to argue the question out amongst yourselves because I can’t write anymore. The sun is going down and I want to take a walk before it does.
dale
