This is how I feel today

Here is a poem I wrote over a year ago but it is definitely how I am feeling today.

Now and Again

Sometimes I want
A rest and a respite
Not from heroic endeavors
Or mighty acts of valor
But simply a pause
From the constancy of life’s flow
Slamming into me
Like a dripping faucet
Mildly aggravating
But maddeningly consistent

Sometimes I want
To step off the stage
To critique my life
Instead of starring in it
Hidden in the curtains
Stage right

Sometimes I want
My world to consist of a closet
Where I’m hidden from
The hustle and bustle of the house.
The perfect place to eavesdrop
On the goings on
And the comings and goings
Never discovered
But hearing it all

Sometimes I want
To be my reflection
To be able to sneak behind
The frame of the mirror
Out of sight when I don’t want to be seen
But always able to look through
To see how my day is going
Visible but untouchable

Sometimes I want
To have the music so loud
That a new world is formed
A world with room only for itself
Keeping all other realities at bay

Sometimes I want
To live in the circular wilderness
The exit ramp curls around
Anonymously watching
The world in the form of traffic
Spinning by
On their way to work
Or play
Or last minute remembered errands
Or whatever it is they do
Out in that big world
This road must lead to

Sometimes I want
To sink into the water.
I can tell by looking
It is much quieter there
And I’m sure the temperature is just right
And the pace of life much, much slower
I would look up with pity
On the people held slave
To the captivity of air
And all it’s required busy-ness

Sometime I want
To stand alone in the woods
While it snows
Each flake falling with a preponderance of silence
Slowly but firmly
Closing the door on sound
Letting every noise
That would disturb my solitude know
That it just isn’t welcome here

Sometimes I want
To be alone
But only now and again.